Prevention isn't suspicion
Prevention doesn't start from alarm. It starts from an atmosphere where people can talk, ask questions and ask for help.
2 min read
Prevention isn't controlling their every move. It's building the conditions for care: adults who are present, conversations that can happen, clear limits, a sense of belonging, reliable information and being available. Teens who have adults they can talk to about substance use honestly, without lectures and without alarm, are better protected.
Myths and facts
Myth
"If we talk about substance use, we'll put ideas in their head."
Fact
They already know alcohol and drugs exist. The question is whether they have real information or just rumors.
Myth
"As long as there are no serious signs, there's no need to talk."
Fact
Prevention starts before there are any signs.
Myth
"Prevention means checking, monitoring and controlling everything."
Fact
Too much control can shut down the conversation and lead to more hiding.
Myth
"Telling them not to do it is enough."
Fact
They need to understand why, what the risks are and what to do if they're in a tough situation.
Myth
"If they trust me, they'll never try anything."
Fact
Trust doesn't remove every risk. It does make it easier for them to ask for help in time.
How to say it
Instead of
"I know you would never do something like that."
Try
"I trust you, and I also know there can be pressure or tough situations. It matters to me that we can talk about it."
Instead of
"If you ever tried anything, it would kill me."
Try
"If you ever find yourself around people who are drinking or using, I'd rather you talk to me than be left alone with it."
Instead of
"Drugs ruin your life, period."
Try
"Some kinds of substance use affect your body, your decisions and your relationships. I want you to have information and support."
Instead of
"If I find out you had anything to drink, you'll be sorry."
Try
"If you ever drink too much, call me. I just want you to be okay."
Try this: a short conversation, no interrogation
- 1Pick a calm moment, when no one is angry or in a hurry.
- 2Open with a broad question: "What do you and your friends say about alcohol, vaping or other substances?"
- 3Listen without correcting right away.
- 4Be clear about where you stand: you care, there are limits and you're available.
- 5Leave the door open: "We can keep talking about this whenever you want."
The most important thing to say
"If you ever drink too much, or you're somewhere and need me to come get you, call me. I'm not going to get mad in that moment. I just want you to be okay."
A question to take with you
What does your teen know about what you think of alcohol, from what you say and from what you do?