Evaluation and diagnosis: when, with whom and how to talk about it
A diagnosis that is done well can give direction and ease guilt. It doesn't say everything about who your teen is.
2 min read
When to consider an evaluation
- When the difficulties persist and don't improve with more effort or with the usual support.
- When there is a very uneven profile: doing very well in some things, with great difficulty in others.
- When difficulties with other people don't improve over time.
- When there is a very marked sensitivity to stimulation or to emotions.
- When there is a history of difficulties at school with no clear explanation.
Myths and facts
Myth
"If they get diagnosed, they'll be labeled forever."
Fact
A diagnosis that is done well helps guide supports. It doesn't have to box them in.
Myth
"They're too old to be evaluated."
Fact
An evaluation in the teen years is still useful.
Myth
"They'll use it as an excuse."
Fact
Understanding what's hard for them is not an excuse. It's information that helps them manage better.
Myth
"The diagnosis is the only thing that matters."
Fact
More than a name, what matters is having a support plan.
Myth
"Medication will fix it."
Fact
In some cases it can help. On its own it isn't enough, and it is a medical decision.
Where to start
Start with your teen's doctor or pediatrician, or with the school counselor. They can refer you to the right person.
Professional
Neuropsychologist
What it's for
A comprehensive evaluation
Professional
Therapist who works with teens
What it's for
Support, including with how they experience what's going on with them
Professional
Learning specialist or educational psychologist
What it's for
Learning difficulties
Professional
Occupational therapist
What it's for
Sensory sensitivity and organizing daily life
Professional
Speech-language pathologist
What it's for
Language and communication difficulties
Professional
Child and adolescent psychiatrist
What it's for
When a medical evaluation is needed
What to bring to the first appointment
- Your notes, with specific examples and when it started.
- Reports and observations from the school.
- What they do well, along with what's hard for them.
How to talk about it with your teen
Shuts down
"It's not that big a deal, everyone struggles with something."
Opens up
"Some things are harder for you. And there are others you're really good at."
Shuts down
"If you were more organized, there wouldn't be a problem."
Opens up
"The reason this is hard isn't that you're not trying. It's that, for you, this works differently."
Shuts down
"Don't tell anyone."
Opens up
"Do you want to understand more about how you work?"
Shuts down
Not talking about it: letting it exist, but without a name.
Opens up
"What would help you with this thing that's hard for you?"
A teen who understands what's going on with them tends to blame themselves less and to be better at asking for what they need. The name it's given is a tool. It isn't all of who they are.
A question to take with you
What would having a name for what's going on with them give you? And what would it take away from you?