What's expected in grief, and what deserves attention

What's expected

• Sadness that comes and goes, rather than being constant.
• Irritability or mood swings.
• Being distracted, or having trouble concentrating.
• Needing more time with friends, or more time alone. It depends on the person.
• Dates bringing the pain back more strongly.
• Moments when they laugh and seem like their usual self. These don't mean the loss doesn't matter to them.

What deserves attention

• Grief that shows no movement after several months.
• Complete, ongoing isolation.
• Very marked changes at school, in their relationships or in their personal care.
• Expressing a lot of guilt, or not wanting to be here.
• Using alcohol or other substances to manage the pain.

When grief gets complicated

Sometimes grief gets stuck, intensifies or seriously affects daily life for a long time. It is not a weakness. It often means that the loss was very big, that there wasn't enough company or that something couldn't be said. It is a sign that professional support is needed.